Sample winning essay for Creatures of Light LeFrak Class of the Month Contest - Abdoulaye

Abdoulaye Image LeFRak

Abdoulaye's work comes from Jessica Suarez's and Michelle Zieky's winning second grade class at Yorkville Community School.

 

 

This essay:

  • clearly introduces and defines the topic of bioluminescence
  • essay maintains focus
  • mentions how organisms may use bioluminescence
  • names 3 bioluminescent organisms
  • uses accurate and relevant facts from contest readings and the “Creatures of Light” exhibit to explain bioluminescence
  • overuse of the pronoun it compromises clarity
  • Includes a relevant conclusion that provides a sense of closure
 

Its illustration:

  • depicts bioluminescent features of 3 organisms