Sample winning essay for Whales: Giants of the Deep Class of the Month Contest - Tiona

Tiona LeFrak image

Tiona's work comes from Kelly Barton's seventh grade class at J.H.S. 202 Robert H. Goddard.


This essay’s strengths:

  • Maintains focus throughout
  • Gives examples of fossil, molecular, and structural evidence to describe how whales have evolved over time
  • Uses accurate and relevant facts from contest readings and the “Whales: Giants of the Deep” exhibit to explain whale adaptations, quoting text appropriately
  • Very detailed illustration depicts and labels the evolutionary changes discussed in the essay.

Needs additional support:

  • Including an illustration of a living whale species to demonstrate how whales have evolved over time
  • Structuring the essay with paragraph breaks and discrete introductory and concluding sections