Sample winning essay for Whales: Giants of the Deep Class of the Month Contest - Kirandeep

Kirandeep Image LeFrak

Kirandeep's work comes from Laura Devlin's and Joann Krudis' fifth grade class at P.S. 056 Harry Eichler.


This essay:

  • clearly introduces and defines the topic of whale adaptations
  • essay maintains focus
  • names 3 whale adaptations
  • uses accurate and relevant facts from contest readings and the “Whales: Giants of the Deep” exhibit to explain whale adaptations
  • develops facts about whale adaptations using detailed information and examples
  • complex ideas about feeding adaptations in the 3rd paragraph are accurate, but can be revised for clarity
  • uses linking words to connect ideas
  • includes a relevant conclusion that provides a sense of closure

Its illustration:

  •   depicts 4 whale adaptations and compares the feeding adaptations of baleen whales